So the ex-wife asked for a conversation with me today. We arranged to meet at a park midway between our homes. I was going to write something sarcastic, but thought the better of it.
Suffice it to say that the talk didn’t go well and ended with me leaving under a hail of insults, hurled at a volume that any passersby would hear.
That said, I did learn something from the event. It is fascinating to me the ways different people perceive the same circumstances. Issues that I have expressed to my friends and family about struggles we had in the marriage were presented back to me in the exact opposite viewpoint.
If there’s anything to encourage you dads/moms also struggling through this, it would probably be that there are two sides to every divorce. I have been trying to see things from her perspective at times, but have only looked at part of the picture. It’s caused me to do some soul-searching today and make sure that I am working through all the junk from my marriage that I truly need to manage. That is sobering.
None of that excuses any of the actions of the alienating parent, but it at least puts it into context with how they are functioning and thinking.
I’ve been praying a lot today about making sure God is working on all the stuff in my life that I need to address. I think I have addressed and begun to heal from much of the pain of the past, but I also want to make sure that I’m not skipping over some of the littler stuff to work on the big stuff. It’s all stuff. It all needs to be brought to God and prayed over and dealt with in order for me to emerge on the other side a better man.
I can’t do a thing to change the ex. She has not gotten better over the last six months, she has become even more bitter, more angry, more hostile. I can’t change that. But I can use whatever bit of truth there was in her anger to continue to ensure that I’m on the path God wants me to be travelling.
Related articles
- What is (or isn’t) important to you? (liveagainsttheflow.wordpress.com)
Notes from an Alienated Dad 