Had a great talk with an old friend today. I think the thing that I heard clearest from her was that timing is critical. She talked about how both of her kids asked on their own to reach out and find their dad at a point in their teen years. She hadn’t been discouraging a relationship with him ( which is clearly different from my situation ), but their father had chosen to be apart from them. Even so, both kids had the need to reach out to their dad to reconcile somewhat.
She talked about how gods timing is always the right timing and that we need to be faithful and pray and surround ourselves with others who are praying for our situation as well. Then I got to hear a wealth of examples of the ways god intervened to help her and her kids.
I believe that god can do all of that and that his timing is so perfect. I think the difficulty for me is the meantime. It’s being faithful and praying and depending on god to meet those needs while I wait for the someday eventual reconciliation.
“Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans”. Said John Lennon. I think I am so invested in the future reconciliation and the hope and prayer for that, and I am afraid I will miss the lessons and the joys of right now if I am so focused on the future. Did I say joys? I think yes, I did, because I need to be content and find that joy even in the pain and frustration of my current alienation.
It’s kinda the “one day at a time” philosophy. Rather than the “everything will be alright when _______ happens.
Sobering thought.
Notes from an Alienated Dad 