Got a text today from the Exwife saying that my 18 year old had once again gone into the ER with stomach pains and was admitted. This happened nine months ago right as the divorce proceedings were starting. She was in for two nights and they couldn’t find anything wrong.
I don’t believe she’s a hypochondriac or making any of the pains up. I’m sure they are excruciating. Last I heard she was on morphine. I do think they are what most doctors would call “stress-induced.” I would call them “direct result of swallowing bitterness whole continually for years.” I don’t believe that humans can live a lifestyle where they are continually denigrating and belittling and hating another human without having a resulting medical condition.
When people say “That left a bad taste in my mouth.” It’s usually about something they are angry or bitter about . It is an often used statement, literally because it is physically true. We do literally get a bad taste in our mouth from swallowing and speaking bitterness. I don’t know what chemical make up is behind that bad taste (maybe a good thesis for your budding scientists out there), but I do know that if you live in that world too long, you will sow what you reap. Call it Kharma, call it fate, call it irony, whatever — the solution is not medical. The solution is psychological and spiritual.
So many of you alienated moms and dads are bitter. I get that. It’s only human nature. A friend of mine asked me today this question: When I get a negative text/response from one of the kids, does that give me a reason to be bitter toward their mom. The answer was “sure it does.” It’s a linear truth. She spouts negative about me to the kids, and then in turn, don’t want anything to do with me. It would be easy to get extremely bitter about her.
So let me ask you a simple question about that: What good does that do? Seriously — if bitterness only hurts the one feeling bitter, why waste the time? It doesn’t build up relationship, it only can hurt them. So for that reason alone, I have to control bitterness or it will rise up and kill.
Notes from an Alienated Dad 