Most of this blog will be about how I relate to the kids throughout my divorce. It’s been clear that our marriage was over for several years, but I had always been one of those dads who was very attached to his kids. I coached them for 10 years in every sport they tried. I took them on camping trips, planned vacations, worked as a family with them in the yard, created many lasting great memories with them. I don’t think I am the example of the deadbeat dad that our media likes to vilify. In fact, this whole experience has very much caused me to question how prevalent those dads really are. But the fact is that my kids now are being alienated from me very successfully.
So men (and women if you’d like): Let’s share how we can get through these difficult days and where we can find our hope and how we can not only survive, but thrive on the other side of the valley.
Quick note:
Please keep everything anonymous. Make up a name, don’t leave real names in your posts or comments. The purpose here is not to shame anyone on the other side of this situation, but to help those of us on the alienated side to get through this successfully.
God Bless you all as you struggle through this time in your life.
Jim
Thank you for this blog. I am smack dab in the middle of a custody battle and I’ve never felt so defeated in my life. Everything moves so slow and the mom has a vendetta out against me. Everyone tells me to let the system do its thing but I have this forever sick to my stomach feeling. Reading this helped.
Hi Jared — thank you so much for the encouragement. I began the blog for people like me going through this whole thing. You are not alone — you are not the only one struggling through it. Your feelings and pain are real and normal and not going away soon. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. It gets better. Then it gets worse. Then better, and then you learn how to live in a very different way than you did before. You adapt, you begin to understand how to handle the situation. Nothing changes, really, but your attitude and your rock-solid belief that it will be better. But don’t live for that future day. Deal with it as it comes, feel it, struggle through it, don’t try to paper over it with another woman or busyness or work. I think the more we do that, the more we risk not “going through it now and delaying the pain till later.” Please send me a post if you’d like to contribute and I’ll add it to the site. May God Bless you as you struggle and may you grow in your faith and in your hope and may your children see your love and your care for them throughout. — Jim
Jim, You need to add the ability to follow your blog.
I’m not sure how to do that on WordPress. Thought it was already able to be followed.
It is in you admin page under “widgets”